Autism help
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Living with Autism
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Homeschooling:
The great school debate is a divided topic with parents of autistic children. Some insist that school is the best option for socialization and learning, cvwhile others hold firm to the belief that home is the better choice for their children. Some reasons in favor of school are: your child is willing to do more work for the teacher then for you, the school has a good autism program that incorporates speech and sensory therapy (and you can’t get it elsewhere), or maybe you have simply reached your limits in handling your child’s tiring autistic behaviors 24 hours a day by yourself. These are all valid reasons for selecting a school based program if it works for your family. If school is your ultimate choice, then we urge you to do the following…
- Be a strong advocate for your child and get the services that he needs in his IEP from the beginning. (Even if you need to get an advocate to do so.)
- Thoroughly check out the school and the staff to ensure that it is a good match for your child. (If the local school doesn’t seem right, then investigate the area private schools or other public schools in your district as they are all options…)
- Communicate well with his teachers, and make yourself a known positive presence at the school as much as you are able.
- Don’t send your child to a school if you have any hesitations or uneasiness about the environment (this is especially true if your child is non-verbal). Maternal intuition is usually very accurate, and sadly to say there are schools out there that won’t treat your child right.
- Be sure that your child is happy to attend the school, and also that he is growing and progressing in the program. Don’t settle for second best when it comes to educating your autistic child. You must be very involved in his learning, and support the teacher’s efforts by doing some “homework” daily to reinforce what he is learning in class.
- Make sure you know your rights concerning vaccination. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO VACCINATE for your child to attend a public school. They will lead you to believe it is mandatory, because the school receives federally funded money only when it maintains a 90% or greater vaccination rate. Don’t buy into their intimidation tactics!!! Visit www.vaclib.org/exemption.htm to find state by state exemptions for all vaccines. No matter how vaccine damaged your child may be, you will not get a medical exemption. We know firsthand how difficult this is, and very few people end up getting one. You will have to claim a religious or philosophical exemption depending upon the allowances of your state.
We have done both school and home based programs with our children. There are times when either situation may be more appropriate, and you have to take it one day at a time and use your best judgement. Right now we are homeschooling Erika, Elijah and Leah while Nicky and Jacob attend school based autism programs, but that could change at any time. Generally speaking, as long as something is working for us we keep doing it! Some good reasons in favor of homeschooling are:
- Your child is miserable at school due to teasing (sorry to say but this does happen as much as we would like to deny it.) We do not believe that teasing is an inevitable part of life for our kids, and that they should learn to live with it. Unfortunately this is a common attitude, but it is so flawed. Teasing can destroy a child, and has even led some kids to severe depression and suicide. It is not something you want your already different child to have to deal with every day. You need to ask yourself if the socialization you think he is getting is even appropriate if he is shunned by most of the class…
- Your child is miserable at school because of an uncaring staff. If the staff is not kind, caring and positive it can adversely affect your child. Imagine spending your entire day getting in trouble or being looked down upon. Eventually, you would start to act up and believe that you deserved to be treated poorly. That is why you need to know and love the staff as much as possible. They will be dealing with your child in the bathroom as well as the lunchroom, and they need to be trustworthy.
- Your child gets sick all of the time due to immune system issues. This is not uncommon with our kids, and if your child is sick so often that he hardly attends school anymore, then you may need to consider if homeschooling is a healthier option. Some kids are just too weak to be in school until they go through a proper detox program.
- Your child is not making any progress, and there are no other placement options available to you. We know that technically the school must provide an appropriate program, but we also know that depending on where you live, even their “best” program may be less then desirable. In this case, you can probably do a better job yourself and we encourage you to do so.
If you make the choice to home school, you will need some basic information in order to get started. It really isn’t as hard as you think, and with some effort you can have a pretty well rounded program.
- Join the Home school Legal Defense Association to protect yourself from harassment. Visit their website at www.hslda.org for more information on this. They provide free legal counsel to any member who needs defense from the school systems and social workers who would rather not see anyone home school. (This is especially true when you have a special needs child.) They also offer consultations to families who are homeschooling children with special needs who need some extra support. In addition to the added security, you will also receive a teacher’s membership card which will allow you to sign up for teacher’s discounts at places like Barnes and Nobles. (They offer 20% off for teachers which really helps when buying school items.)
- Join the National Challenged Homeschoolers Associated Network at www.nathhan.com. You will receive their newsletter/ magazine a few times yearly, plus you will gain access to their lending library and online parent support group. It is a really nice resource.
- Find out the laws of your state from HSLDA. Their homepage contains a state by state description of legal requirements for homeschooling, and you don’t have to be a member to see it. You will need to know what you have to do to start homeschooling. Some states require no formal notice at all. A few require that you send in a notorized letter and birth certificate for each child you are homeschooling, and that’s all. Many require you to keep daily logs and grade records, and report your information to the district. If you live in one of these states, we recommend that you find a local homeschooling “umbrella” group to help you handle the paperwork. Many Christian churches have these type of groups, and you may be able to find some information online also.
- When you have the legalities taken care of, you will want to start getting your materials together. Decide what your child is capable of, and shape your curriculum to him on an individual basis. You will probably have to pick and choose from a variety of teaching materials to meet his needs, and only time will tell what will be the most successful. Most kids with autism will not be able to follow a basic pre-packaged curriculum, and you will need to create many of your own materials. The web is a great source of free information for homeschooling.
- You will also need to figure out how you are going to meet the needs for speech and sensory therapies, and any other outside therapies your child requires. Perhaps you have private insurance that will cover these things, or you are able to pay out of pocket. If you are fortunate enough to live in Arizona or California, then DDD will probably pay for these therapies for you. If none of the above is an option for you, then you may need to learn the basics of sensory therapy and do it yourself. As for speech, this may be trickier to do solo, but you can at least try our ideas for a home based apraxia program while you are looking around.
- The final area is socialization. If you have a large family, then chances are the social needs will be met by brothers and sisters and their friends. If not, then try a few carefully arranged play dates which you can supervise closely. You may choose to try a typical peer, and “coach” him to be with your child so he is more understanding of any unusual behaviors. (Maybe a child from your neighborhood or church would be willing.) This is a good way to go at first until your child actually shows some interest in having friends. When the real interest develops, then you may have to help with his akward social skills, but you can still have a successful play date (with some planning) if you keep it structured and keep it short!